Great analysis, thank you. I am actually happy to read and see that we are already ⚔️ this ⚔️ close to taking back our mindspace and build new places on the internet — for the community WE want to talk to, not what insta or algo, or corpo or anybody else wants us to do.
Completely agree. I’ve been completely off of instagram and tiktok for almost a year now, and I’ve resorted back to buying actual magazines if I want any sort of “help”. Loved your post
I find it fascinating how different the real conversations are compared to how influencers are posting on social media. Somehow everyone is tired of social media, but the influencer machine keeps on working overtime…
Thanks for this, Annika. I also find social media exhausting these days. Everything is content now, and it’s tiring.
I’m trying to replacing scrolling time with more productive things like writing, getting through the huge stack of books that I have on my desk and even just leaving my phone at home and going on big walks with my wife and our dog. All make me feel infinitely better than scrolling social media.
This is exactly what I am doing. I have deleted all the social apps from my phone and I didn't even notice how often I reach for my phone to scroll social media. It is mind blowing to think how much time I spent on those apps. Now, whenever my attention span is too short I let my mind wander instead of reaching for my phone.
As someone who also remembers pre-Internet, pre-social media life, I find all of this “oh you liked this post, let’s shove it on your feed so it crowds everything else out” extremely tiresome. And it makes me think about how one of the most exciting things about life is how you can grow, and change, and discover new things and discard old things and be constantly finding new parts of yourself. And that seems to be the antithesis of social media as it is currently constructed, because how can you sell the same thing over and over to people if they are always changing?
Couldn’t agree more. For the longest time I thought this niching down was something we, as humans, are supposed to do. Like it is part of growing up. But it is the exact opposite, we are supposed to grow and change.
I think the creation of our own niche that you describe is somewhat like the sewing community on Instagram. There are very few 'big' accounts (because why would we take time away from sewing to manage our social media?) When I go on Insta now I mainly go directly to specific hashtags like curvysewing or memadewardrobe. (A place where both wide leg and skinny leg pants live together in harmony because some of us started sewing because we hated the current trends.) The most popular accounts will garner maybe several hundred likes. Still, I worry that there will be a day when Instagram ruins it...some are already saying it no longer allows them to view 'most recent'' on a hashtag but I suspect that might be a difference between desktop vs mobile version. One thing it does, which perhaps may be why it remains a sweet space, is that it fosters connection in real life . From sewing retreats to stitch festivals to 'frocktail' gatherings many people take their connections offline. Perhaps that is why it endures.
I love that these corners of social media exist. And I'd love to see more of it. And I hate that social media apps are slowly ruining the very core of their own product: the social part.
I had to leave Instagram and TikTok as well, but I’ve also noticed a similar trend on LinkedIn. But instead of fashion, it’s job advice. And it keeps changing. Basically, if you aren’t doing these Five Awesome Things (which are different from last week’s Five Awesome Things) you are about to be fired or your company is going to go out of business. It’s exhausting.
Couldn't have described this better myself. There's also the added challenge of how our bodies evolve as we grow older and I find that makes it even harder to curate a wardrobe that feels like 'me'. Thank you for this post!
Love this. I’ve been removing the algorithm’s tether hooks for some time now, little by little, but now I see it affecting my kids — who don’t even have smartphones or social media. I’m in progress with an essay on this very thing.
They’re watching their peers struggle to “keep up” with trends being sold to them at a prolific rate and being left out or put down when they don’t also have/wear/say/do the same things (worse, I think, than it was when we were social media-less in middle school in the 90s). And sadly, I’m seeing my own peers buy into it by bankrolling and encouraging their kids’ “belonging” through this circus.
I'd love to read that piece once you finished it. Please share it with me. I've always been interested in how social media is affecting the younger generations as I simply cannot imagine what that must be like. As you said, we had a social media-less school experience (for the most part) and even when it did start, it was very authentic social media. It wasn't the aesthetic-driven mess we have today. It is even more shocking to me that your kids are affected by it without having direct access to social media. So social media can affect kids by proxy? That is insane.
Yeah, it’s fascinating (and frustrating) to watch my kids get left out and teased for the things they don’t know or care about because they don’t have socials (or smartphones). Because that’s where a lot of their peers set their barometers to. So instead, my kids have to hold in tension a feeling of agency, along with trust that what my husband and I are choosing for them, for now, is the better path, with an awareness that they are missing out on things (but in my opinion, not much) and may socially struggle a bit for that.
I just dropped my oldest (she’s 12, headed into 7th) off for her first sleep away camp for the week, this morning, and you know what she’s most thrilled about? That her friends will be device-less and have attention and presence to give in a way she hasn’t experienced with them in a couple years!
I hate to be one of those people but since I got rid of my Instagram, my thoughts are so much clearer and less muddled and I am happier, like genuinely happier. I didn't realise just how much it was destroying me until it was gone.
I absolutely feel the same about this. Social media is toxic and promotes over consumption because of the clothes you “have” to buy with the ever changing trends!!
In a world that celebrates “freedom of expression and ‘just being you,’” I’ve never seen so much advocacy for conformity - and herd mentality - as I have on social media.
I agree with your post. A lot of social media posts are more about to follow what is trendy and keep your fame and make money. We need to get back to what you are passionate about to post. And not follow trends.
Great analysis, thank you. I am actually happy to read and see that we are already ⚔️ this ⚔️ close to taking back our mindspace and build new places on the internet — for the community WE want to talk to, not what insta or algo, or corpo or anybody else wants us to do.
Completely agree. I’ve been completely off of instagram and tiktok for almost a year now, and I’ve resorted back to buying actual magazines if I want any sort of “help”. Loved your post
Nothing beats a good magazine and a cup of coffee or glass of wine. 🧡
Absolutely agree with all of this and it’s the exact conversation I’ve been having with many, many people lately.
I find it fascinating how different the real conversations are compared to how influencers are posting on social media. Somehow everyone is tired of social media, but the influencer machine keeps on working overtime…
this is literally my internal monologue 24/7, thank you for writing this!!
Glad you enjoyed it. 🧡 And I am blown away by how many people feel the same. For a while I thought I was the only one.
Thanks for this, Annika. I also find social media exhausting these days. Everything is content now, and it’s tiring.
I’m trying to replacing scrolling time with more productive things like writing, getting through the huge stack of books that I have on my desk and even just leaving my phone at home and going on big walks with my wife and our dog. All make me feel infinitely better than scrolling social media.
This is exactly what I am doing. I have deleted all the social apps from my phone and I didn't even notice how often I reach for my phone to scroll social media. It is mind blowing to think how much time I spent on those apps. Now, whenever my attention span is too short I let my mind wander instead of reaching for my phone.
As someone who also remembers pre-Internet, pre-social media life, I find all of this “oh you liked this post, let’s shove it on your feed so it crowds everything else out” extremely tiresome. And it makes me think about how one of the most exciting things about life is how you can grow, and change, and discover new things and discard old things and be constantly finding new parts of yourself. And that seems to be the antithesis of social media as it is currently constructed, because how can you sell the same thing over and over to people if they are always changing?
Couldn’t agree more. For the longest time I thought this niching down was something we, as humans, are supposed to do. Like it is part of growing up. But it is the exact opposite, we are supposed to grow and change.
I think the creation of our own niche that you describe is somewhat like the sewing community on Instagram. There are very few 'big' accounts (because why would we take time away from sewing to manage our social media?) When I go on Insta now I mainly go directly to specific hashtags like curvysewing or memadewardrobe. (A place where both wide leg and skinny leg pants live together in harmony because some of us started sewing because we hated the current trends.) The most popular accounts will garner maybe several hundred likes. Still, I worry that there will be a day when Instagram ruins it...some are already saying it no longer allows them to view 'most recent'' on a hashtag but I suspect that might be a difference between desktop vs mobile version. One thing it does, which perhaps may be why it remains a sweet space, is that it fosters connection in real life . From sewing retreats to stitch festivals to 'frocktail' gatherings many people take their connections offline. Perhaps that is why it endures.
I love that these corners of social media exist. And I'd love to see more of it. And I hate that social media apps are slowly ruining the very core of their own product: the social part.
I had to leave Instagram and TikTok as well, but I’ve also noticed a similar trend on LinkedIn. But instead of fashion, it’s job advice. And it keeps changing. Basically, if you aren’t doing these Five Awesome Things (which are different from last week’s Five Awesome Things) you are about to be fired or your company is going to go out of business. It’s exhausting.
Couldn't have described this better myself. There's also the added challenge of how our bodies evolve as we grow older and I find that makes it even harder to curate a wardrobe that feels like 'me'. Thank you for this post!
Oh god, yes! I find it unbelievable how little in-between bodys there are on social media. I don’t fit in anywhere.
Love this. I’ve been removing the algorithm’s tether hooks for some time now, little by little, but now I see it affecting my kids — who don’t even have smartphones or social media. I’m in progress with an essay on this very thing.
They’re watching their peers struggle to “keep up” with trends being sold to them at a prolific rate and being left out or put down when they don’t also have/wear/say/do the same things (worse, I think, than it was when we were social media-less in middle school in the 90s). And sadly, I’m seeing my own peers buy into it by bankrolling and encouraging their kids’ “belonging” through this circus.
I'd love to read that piece once you finished it. Please share it with me. I've always been interested in how social media is affecting the younger generations as I simply cannot imagine what that must be like. As you said, we had a social media-less school experience (for the most part) and even when it did start, it was very authentic social media. It wasn't the aesthetic-driven mess we have today. It is even more shocking to me that your kids are affected by it without having direct access to social media. So social media can affect kids by proxy? That is insane.
Posted today! https://kristineneeley.substack.com/p/i-cant-keep-up-anymore
Yeah, it’s fascinating (and frustrating) to watch my kids get left out and teased for the things they don’t know or care about because they don’t have socials (or smartphones). Because that’s where a lot of their peers set their barometers to. So instead, my kids have to hold in tension a feeling of agency, along with trust that what my husband and I are choosing for them, for now, is the better path, with an awareness that they are missing out on things (but in my opinion, not much) and may socially struggle a bit for that.
I just dropped my oldest (she’s 12, headed into 7th) off for her first sleep away camp for the week, this morning, and you know what she’s most thrilled about? That her friends will be device-less and have attention and presence to give in a way she hasn’t experienced with them in a couple years!
I hate to be one of those people but since I got rid of my Instagram, my thoughts are so much clearer and less muddled and I am happier, like genuinely happier. I didn't realise just how much it was destroying me until it was gone.
So much yes! 👏🏻
I absolutely feel the same about this. Social media is toxic and promotes over consumption because of the clothes you “have” to buy with the ever changing trends!!
The constant "you have to" is what broke me in the end. It felt worse than being put in a niche, it felt like I wasn't allowed to be me in any way.
In a world that celebrates “freedom of expression and ‘just being you,’” I’ve never seen so much advocacy for conformity - and herd mentality - as I have on social media.
Excellent post 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I agree with your post. A lot of social media posts are more about to follow what is trendy and keep your fame and make money. We need to get back to what you are passionate about to post. And not follow trends.
💙♾️🙏