This essay nicely dovetails with a lot of things I’ve been reading about the rise of self-help culture and the phenomenon of people going “no contact” with “toxic” family members. As you noted, boundaries are too often used to protect ourselves from any kind of discomfort, including exposure to perspectives different from our own. Instead of frank and respectful exchanges, we end up with silence and no contact. This inevitably leads to more polarization in our society. We desperately need to relearn how to have healthy conversation across differing worldviews, especially in the United States.
Haha, thank you Barbs! And I totally get that this is could be a second piece in itself. But after writing this mammoth essay I need a break from the topic.
This is genuinely one of the best pieces I've read on SubStack recently. I was trying to decide which part to quote, but decided a full restack is best. Thank you for treating this topic with the care and nuance that it deserves -- and for tying it back to building community, which is a topic I care deeply about. I couldn't agree more with everything you said.
Thank you so much Paige. Glad that you enjoyed the piece so much. Community building is also really important to me and I hate seeing how little many people seem to care about it these days.
Same, same, same. But I tell myself: We can only control ourselves and surround ourselves with others who also care about community. Hopefully people will see our joy and start to prioritize it in their own lives 💛
This essay nicely dovetails with a lot of things I’ve been reading about the rise of self-help culture and the phenomenon of people going “no contact” with “toxic” family members. As you noted, boundaries are too often used to protect ourselves from any kind of discomfort, including exposure to perspectives different from our own. Instead of frank and respectful exchanges, we end up with silence and no contact. This inevitably leads to more polarization in our society. We desperately need to relearn how to have healthy conversation across differing worldviews, especially in the United States.
"I’d argue the opposite: third spaces disappeared because communities did." oooooohhhh look at you spinning it and leaving us wanting more
Haha, thank you Barbs! And I totally get that this is could be a second piece in itself. But after writing this mammoth essay I need a break from the topic.
This is genuinely one of the best pieces I've read on SubStack recently. I was trying to decide which part to quote, but decided a full restack is best. Thank you for treating this topic with the care and nuance that it deserves -- and for tying it back to building community, which is a topic I care deeply about. I couldn't agree more with everything you said.
Thank you so much Paige. Glad that you enjoyed the piece so much. Community building is also really important to me and I hate seeing how little many people seem to care about it these days.
Same, same, same. But I tell myself: We can only control ourselves and surround ourselves with others who also care about community. Hopefully people will see our joy and start to prioritize it in their own lives 💛